After sexual trauma, our nervous systems can be unbalanced, our bodies always trying to protect us. We may experience fight, flight, or fawn responses, learning about our symptoms and reactions. If you’ve been on a healing journey for a while, and possibly even exploring body-based healing, you might wonder about the signs that you’re making progress.
While healing isn’t linear, we can notice overall trends in how we feel within ourselves and around others.
I welcome you to join me in exploring 15 signs of nervous system healing after sexual trauma, slowly moving from a place of survival and into one based on regulation, trust, and honoring your body.
1. You notice sensations in your body
Many survivors feel numb after sexual trauma, some unable to notice any sensation at all. When you signal safety to your nervous system, you may notice sensations (no matter how slight).
It may also be less overwhelming to feel these than they once were, and you may be able to stay with them for longer than you used to. This is a gentle sign that your interoception (body awareness) sense is growing stronger.
2. You breathe more deeply and more fully
When in survival mode, you might notice your breath is short, choppy, or you might notice yourself holding your breath throughout the day. As we communicate safety and release to our bodies, our breath naturally lengthens, and you might notice you take deep breaths, sigh, yawn, or breathe more deeply.
3. Rest feels safe
As a form of self-protection, we may find ourselves staying busy and placing our worth in productivity. When we slowly incorporate more rest, we may notice that rest feels more restorative and less like a threat to our bodies. We also explore rest as a way to support ourselves, instead of using sleep or rest as avoidance. I welcome you to explore how to rediscover deep rest as a sensitive survivor in this blog post.
4. You learn and trust what you really want
When we experience sexual trauma, the messages of what feels like a “yes” and “no” in our bodies can become muddled. When we tune into our bodies, taking time to honor even the subtlest wishes of our bodies, we develop a sense of embodied consent, knowing what we truly want.
You may also feel more confident expressing your boundaries, even if just a little bit. You may also notice more empowerment with boundaries instead of fear surrounding them. These are powerful signs that you’re more in tune with your nervous system and building self-trust.
5. Triggers are more manageable
Triggers are always uncomfortable, but they may start to hold less power over us when we’re healing our nervous systems. Maybe you breathe deeply or ground into your space instead of freezing. Or it might take less time for you to feel regulated than it used to. Your body is starting to learn how to self-regulate, showing that you can hold more space in your nervous system.
6. You can hold space for your emotions (instead of suppressing them)
When we have an unbalanced nervous system, any strong emotion can send us into overwhelm. We might collapse, avoid, suppress, or cope with unhealthy strategies when we can’t hold space for our emotions.
When we start to heal our nervous systems, we might notice that these emotions don’t send us into a spiral like they used to. We might honor how we feel (even if for just a moment), and have the capacity to feel our emotions without going into overwhelm. When we notice we can do this (even if for a moment longer than we could before), this shows how our nervous systems are becoming more flexible and resilient.
7. You feel more present
Presence in itself can be triggering for survivors, because to be present means feeling within their bodies. When we don’t feel safe in our own skin, it may feel easier to be “elsewhere.” Maybe we live in our heads, flood our minds with other things like video games, doom scrolling, movies, or keep ourselves so busy that we don’t have time to be present.
When we’ve taken time to gently support our nervous systems, we may notice short moments of presence, like noticing how good our food tastes, the smell of the outdoor air, how it feels to place our hands on our heart. These are signs of presence, being within our bodies, and safety in our nervous systems.
8. You’re releasing the hold of survival mode
When we’re in survival mode, we tense, brace, and hold. When we start to find softness and heal our nervous systems, our bodies finally release, maybe in the form of shaking, sighing, or through emotions.
We know this is a supportive release when we feel calmer and overall more relaxed after this happens (instead of scared, overwhelmed, or nearing shutdown). When we have the capacity to allow emotions and feelings to process through us, we know that our nervous systems have come a long way into feeling more balanced and safe.
9. Less physical tension
Being in a survival response can cause clenching or tightening of our muscles. This can be subtle and without us fully realizing it’s happening until we notice tension. Many survivors of sexual trauma hold tension in their jaws, shoulders, hips, and pelvic floor. When we feel safe enough in our bodies, we can find release in these tight areas. You might also notice it’s easier to stand up more confidently and that it’s easier to relax.
I welcome you to explore more signs you have sexual trauma stored in your body in this blog post.
10. Pleasurable sensations aren’t as activating
More than being present, many survivors find any sensation that feels pleasurable to be activating. This doesn’t need to mean sexual, as it can be any type of texture, movement, or sensation. You might notice deeper feelings in your heart, belly, or pelvis, and feel safe to be more present with them.
11. Stress doesn’t overwhelm you as much
Daily stress affects everyone, but trauma survivors may notice they have less tolerance and might have quicker outbursts and shorter tempers. This is because of an already activated nervous system. When we constantly feel like we’re almost at the point of overwhelm, anything can send us over the edge.
When we’ve worked with balancing our nervous systems and returning to a more neutral state, daily stress still causes frustration, but we don’t feel the need to lash out or snap as easily. This is a sign we’ve created more space in our nervous systems and have more room for small stressors that don’t overwhelm us.
12. Better sleep
When we feel safe and our nervous systems are in a regulated state, we fall asleep faster, sleep deeper, and wake up feeling more refreshed. We also might have more dreams and fewer nightmares.
Once we have better sleep, it’s like a compound effect on our nervous systems. These two often go hand in hand, as less sleep creates more stress, and more restful, deep sleep, promotes a calmer and more focused presence.
13. Connection and touch feel safer
Many survivors feel unsafe with any type of physical touch after trauma. This can be one of the more powerful triggers since it can feel similar in our bodies, even though we’re with safe people.
When we’ve reached a point of safety within our bodies, we might notice that we desire more connection, even gentle physical touch like hugs or just being close to someone else. We also know we have more capacity when this closeness feels safe instead of a threat, maybe noticing we feel softness and comfort.
This is a huge milestone because our bodies are associating closeness with safety, and that both can be true at the same time.
14. You’re naturally becoming kinder to yourself
Self-blame is such a powerful, overwhelming feeling many survivors have. It can cause us to think of all our faults, wrong doings, and feeling like deep down there is something inherently wrong with us. These thoughts are not truths, and when we start to feel safer within our bodies, tend to ourselves with care, and give ourselves space to heal, these false beliefs start to fade.
We might talk to ourselves like we would a friend, offering more kindness where there once was judgement. We focus on progress, no matter how slow or subtle the changes. We learn that we’re capable of healing, and this sends us on an upward, supportive spiral of more compassion. This also means that we’re feeling more secure within ourselves, slowly shifting a negative inner dialogue to a more positive one.
15. You feel more hopeful for the future
Early days of healing after sexual trauma can be so difficult, sometimes feeling impossible. We might tell ourselves things that we know aren’t true, but can feel true in the moment. I welcome you to explore these support options if you’re in the early stages of your healing for the best support possible.
When you’ve been on your healing journey for a little longer, regaining compassion with yourself and your nervous system, you might notice moments of hope and even joy. We start to focus more on what’s possible for ourselves and how far we’ve come, seeing just how much our nervous systems have rediscovered safety.
This can send so much positivity into our healing, knowing we can live beyond survival mode and even more difficult healing days are less overwhelming as we send ourselves more kindness.
Beginning a practice that supports nervous system healing after sexual trauma
It can be difficult to find a mindfulness practice that honors trauma. Traditional practices might ask you to sit with emotions, send forgiveness to others, or they don’t offer other options in practices, leaving many survivors feeling like mindfulness isn’t for them or they’re not doing the practices correctly.
Trauma-informed approaches understand this, and are a more supportive start for those looking to restore their mind-body connection, inner safety, and a more balanced nervous system.
If you’d like to explore trauma-informed yoga for nervous system support, I welcome you to explore my free private library, the Cozy Corner. This is a collection of free classes that honor sexual trauma and explore classes that focus on nervous system regulation, somatic healing, and healing your mind and body connection. This is an entirely free resource (no trial or paywall), and free for you to use as long as you like. I welcome you to learn more below!
