Many sexual trauma survivors may feel like any form of touch (not just sexual) can be triggering. This may lead to feeling like we need to separate ourselves from our bodies, leading to more disconnection. While we may feel safe in the short term, over time we may feel like we don’t know what feels nice to our bodies, even something as routine as a shower or eating.
It’s possible to restore connection with ourselves through gentle, supportive exercises like somatic yoga and self touch so we can rebuild safety, connection, and reconnect with our feminine essence. With a gentle somatic focus, we can also explore what our bodies are asking of us, and this deepens embodiment and safety, all without feeling like we need to force a feeling or rush into anything we’re not ready for.
As you rebuild safety in your body, it can feel confusing to know where you are in your healing journey, and the type of somatic yoga practices that are most supportive. If you’re unsure where to begin, my free Healing Seasons Quiz explores which phase of your healing journey you’re in, and supportive resources to support your nervous system’s current state. I welcome you to explore the quiz and get started!
Somatic yoga practices like self touch for healing sexual trauma is less about feeling sexual pleasure, and more about awareness, safety, and grounding.
It can be frustrating trying to find a guided self touch practice that doesn’t immediately bring up topics like libido, sexual desire, and deepening sexuality. If anything, this may deter us from wanting to explore these practices since it can feel like any form of pleasure is sexual (which can activate us and send us into disconnection.)
But self touch doesn’t need to lead to these outcomes or lead with these goals, and especially from healing sexual trauma, it can be a much more grounding, loving, and present focused experience.
The purpose of healing somatic self touch is to bring awareness to our bodies through slow, mindful, and purposeful contact. It can be as simple as placing one hand on your heart and noticing how it feels to connect with your heart space. What does your heart wish to speak to you in this moment?
Maybe you gently graze one hand over your arm and notice the slightest of sensations as your hand moves and how it feels on your arm. Do you prefer lighter touch or gentle pressure?
Even though this type of touch is gentle and nonsexual, it can still bring up past feelings, memories, or thoughts. These types of somatic exercises are best explored when you have a solid foundation of grounding and safety, which I welcome you to learn more about in this blog post.
Self touch can be healing for our nervous systems since we can’t always logic our way into a feeling of embodied safety. This may seem foreign at first, but we naturally know how to self soothe.
Self touch can be healing, but only if we feel safe and supported. If you think of a crying baby, it longs for its mother so it can feel supported, safe, and comforted. As we grow older and become self reliant, we develop self soothing techniques that we may not even be aware of.
A few examples of self soothing in our daily lives:
- Holding your chest when you feel anxious
- Curling into bed under blankets when you feel overwhelmed
- Hugging a stuffed animal or blanket as a child for comfort
- Swaying side to side to soothe ourselves
- Fumbling with your hands or touching your face when you’re nervous
- Crossing your arms when you feel unsettled, unsure, or guarded
- Tapping, fidgeting, or bouncing your knee to soften anxiety
We do this instinctively, often saying it just feels right to do. You typically won’t find someone laughing and feeling comfortable and warm with their arms folded, and it may not be common to be in a relaxing hot bath and feel the urge to fidget.
We’re all unique in our anatomy, so your self soothing habits may look different from others, but the overall message is the same: we naturally self soothe even when we’re not fully aware of it. This is our nervous system yearning for balance and harmony and our more subtle, feminine selves trying to nurture us, which means we can deepen this connection and bring it into our awareness.
When we become more intentional with self soothing and touch, we can support ourselves any time we like, and even explore hidden feelings, emotions, or beliefs.
Guided self touch gives us a blueprint to follow for less overwhelm, remain in the practice, and learn new ways of exploring our bodies.
You can always explore self touch on your own, finding moments in your day to see how self touch would feel in your body, and you can also explore guided self touch exercises. These follow a specific theme or may ask questions to deepen your somatic awareness.
Somatic self touch exercises support you as you gently relearn embodied consent (truly knowing what feels like a “yes” or “no” in your body) and deepening your connection with your inner physical landscape since many survivors may live in their heads more than their bodies.
Below is a sample self touch practice you can explore any time you like. Feel free to adapt this to better suit you and you’re welcome to end at any time.
Guide Somatic Self Touch Practice:
I welcome you to begin in a comfortable seat of your choice. In your time, you may choose to place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. If you feel comfortable with breathwork, you might choose to inhale into your belly, noticing how this feels in your hand. You could also choose to add an affirmation like, “My body is mine,” and, “I’m safe to be here in this moment.”
You might choose to leave your hands where they are or explore other areas of your body, sending your breath to anywhere you feel craves love or attention. There is no right or wrong way to explore this. If you like, you could even ask each area, “What would be supportive for you? Or, “If you could say anything to me, even just a word, what would you say?” Take as many breaks as you need as you explore this.
If you’d like to explore femininity, you might choose to place one hand over your lower belly (womb) area, sending love here. You could also imagine an orange light in this space (color of your sacral chakra) if that feels more supportive.
When you’re ready to end, I invite you to release your hands and end with a cleansing breath, inhaling though your nose and exhaling out your nose or mouth.
Here are a few supportive reminders as you begin a self touch practice:
- You don’t need to explore anywhere you don’t wish to.
- If direct touch feels like too much, you can try with gloves or having a blanket to create a barrier
- Your body will let you know if you need a break, even if the signs are subtle. It may be sooner or later than you expect, and that’s okay. The more you honor your needs, the more embodied and empowered you’ll feel over time.
Your practice is unique to you, and that’s part of the process.
You may be surprised what arises (or doesn’t) when you explore these practices and movements since self touch can be healing for some, and activating for others. Where you land isn’t a reflection of your level of success or failure. You may even feel different on different days or times of day.
This shows how unique our healing journeys are and that it’s okay to take your time, explore different techniques, and send yourself compassion through the process. Your body isn’t a project to be fixed, and you’re not somehow behind until you reach a certain level of embodiment. Exploring these practices is a gentle way to acknowledge you’ve always been whole, and that it’s okay and safe to listen to your body’s needs.
I welcome you to explore this free self touch, somatic yoga class!
If this resonated with you, I welcome you to explore my ten minute somatic self touch exercise for deepening your feminine connection and exploring positive, safe touch after sexual trauma.
This class is part of my free, private library, the Cozy Corner, which includes trauma-informed yoga classes designed for sexual trauma survivors. I invite you to join me inside to explore this exclusive class!
