Healing sexual trauma often isn’t linear, and we may face different cycles and waves. When we view our healing as a seasonal journey, instead of a race to a finish line, we can offer ourselves more grace, patience, and understanding along the way.
Sometimes, we’re in our winter season where we crave rest and tuning in, while other times we’re in full bloom with vibrant energy like spring and summer. We can also learn how to explore the practices that best suit our current season, so we’re meeting ourselves where we are. I welcome you to join me as we explore the different seasons of healing, and ways you can support your nervous system with gentle somatic and trauma-informed practices.
Just like nature, one season is not better than the other
We may have personal preference over which season we love, but from a neutral perspective, there is no right or wrong season. Each serves a purpose, and that contributes to the flow of nature, life, and balance.
If we feel overwhelmed, anxious, or any other feeling except calm or happy, we may think we’re going backward in our healing, that we’re doing something wrong. We might overthink all the ways we’re not caring for ourselves, or what we need to do to quickly reach our blooming, vibrant state.
I welcome to you imagine if we expected flowers to bloom year round, then judged them when they naturally faded come fall time. Then, out of frustration, we trimmed the plant, added more water, maybe even chemicals that promise quick blooms, and waited in frustration. The problem isn’t the plant, it’s that we’re trying to force it into a state it’s not ready for. And with more action comes more frustration, then we might even come to believe the plant is defective, flawed, or not worth our time.
These same thoughts may arise in our healing journeys. When we’re not in our full bloom, thoughts might turn toward us, judging and wondering what is so wrong with us, but the truth is healing isn’t linear, and what supported us during our blooming season will look different from what supports us during seasons that ask for more rest and gentleness.
When we turn our focus to which season of healing we’re in, we can explore techniques, practices, and self care routines that honor where we are
We can direct this toward our healing because if we try to focus on release and embodiment when our bodies are craving safety and relaxation, we may find ourselves much like the flower that won’t bloom. These next sections will explore signs you’re in each season and practices that are supportive, so you can tend to your nervous system with care.
I’d like to mention that while seasons are cyclical and follow the same predictable pattern, our seasons don’t always move in this same way, and don’t last for specific periods of time. I explore them based on a gentle progression starting from feeling disconnected to fully embracing joy after trauma, in this order: winter, autumn, and spring and summer together (blooming season).
Winter: the season of stillness, rest, and returning to center
We may often judge ourselves when we crave rest if we don’t believe we’ve done enough, whether this be our level of productivity, results or accomplishments. Avoiding rest isn’t a sustainable long-term way to cater to our nervous systems, and can lead to even further burnout and self criticism. In the season of winter, nature takes a pause and asks for rest in order to feel rejuvenated come spring time.
We may show signs of being in our winter season if we feel overly exhausted, numb, experiencing dissociation or more lethargy. This can also arise as feeling anxious, thoughts moving faster than we can keep up with, working ourselves past our limits, then experiencing burnout, feeling like we can’t do anything, even something simple like cooking for ourselves or taking a shower. We might also become irritable or even angry at seemingly small things and crave isolation, but also feel lonely.
This is the season that asks us to restore safety, presence, and genuine relaxation into our routines. Our nervous systems are dysregulated, and these subtle signs are how our bodies communicate this to us.
To support ourselves in this season, we can explore grounding practices, internal and external resources, and allowing more periods of active, deep rest. I welcome you to read this blog post for more about grounding and resourcing when exploring somatic exercises like yoga.
Autumn: the season of release and creating more room for ourselves
Autumn, the season when leaves fall and we harvest our efforts from summer. We may be in this season if we’ve begun to feel a sense of safety within ourselves, but there are still emotional or physical blockages that are asking for release. Once we do, we’ll discover more embodiment and connection.
We may be in this season if we feel fatigue, heavy from emotions, tension in our bodies, or feeling like we’re holding onto something we can’t quite place. It could be a belief, emotion, judgement, or feeling that we’re worried about what will happen if we let it go. We might fear that if we let this part of us go, we’ll let our guards down and be open to danger. This is the season where we learn that release is how we make room for new, healthy growth that happens naturally without a gripping nature.
I understand how frustrating it is when someone tells us to “just let it go,” (especially when they’re referring to past trauma) and that’s not the energy I want to portray. It’s not about “forget and move on” and instead a gentle way to allow deep rooted emotions to finally be seen in a setting where you feel safe and comfortable.
Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, or never showing that it bothers you, or putting on a mask so it looks like you’ve “moved on.” It’s a way to releasing what’s stored within us and truly seeing ourselves. It’s a loving, caring nature and one that leaves us feeling rejuvenated, instead of a desertion of ourselves.
Here, we can continue to build upon our grounding strategies, and explore gentle practices that welcome release like yoga practices that focus on your emotional center, your hips. You could also explore chest openers like supported fish pose, journaling, and movement practices like somatic shaking, or meditations like progressive muscle relaxation. This season also includes embodiment, so practices like leaning into what feels like a true yes and no for you in your body will support discovering boundaries.
Spring and summer: where we bloom, cultivate joy and belonging, and explore vulnerability of positive sensations and emotions
I’ve grouped these two into one season because they are both primarily blooming seasons, and are typically the most energetic and authentic versions of us. We may be in this season if we have supportive grounding strategies and can restore a sense of safety in our bodies with more ease. You may also notice that you’ve come far with embodiment work, and are ready to fully integrate everything you’ve learned and rediscover fullness, vibrancy, and self trust, intuition, and closeness with others.
When we’re in this season, I welcome you to embrace the positive sensations and feelings of this time. This isn’t to mask or veer into toxic positivity, but the more we lean into pleasant feelings, the more we thaw what our traumas felt needed to dull or hide.
We may also find that the more we allow all versions of ourselves and fully embrace them, we may also experience emotions like grief and anger more deeply, but we can move through them with more grace. Through deep feeling, can also embrace love and joy with more authenticity. We learn that we’re safe to feel our emotions, and something or someone isn’t waiting to take it away from us. It’s truly brave to accept joy.
In the words of Brené Brown in her Netflix special, Call to Courage, she says “To love is to be vulnerable, to give someone your heart and say, ‘I know this could hurt so bad, but I’m willing to do it.’ There is an increasing number of people in the world today that are not willing to take that risk. They’d rather never know love than to know hurt or grief, and that is a huge price to pay.“
She wasn’t referring to trauma survivors directly in this quote, but this shows how vulnerable these feelings are, and that it’s not an easy journey for anyone. After sexual trauma, we may find feelings like pleasure (sexual and nonsexual) are difficult, because they may remind us of past experiences, or bring up feelings that we don’t deserve to feel good. We may have moments of shame or guilt in this season as we take the brave step into feeling more vulnerable, positive feelings.
With gentle practice and noticing more pleasure, we can build our capacity for holding these feelings. Examples of this are gentle somatic practices or yoga classes where you lean into feeling pleasure, joy, or comfortability in your body. You might also take this outside of your practice and focus on when you enjoy certain hobbies, foods, environments, people, or anything else that lights you up, noticing this feeling in your body.
This is the season of leaning in and rediscovering the version of you that may have felt needed to hide after trauma. It’s a gentle and courageous return to embracing our fullest human experience.
Knowing our current season guides us to the practices that best serve us
Just like how we don’t water garden beds in snowy winter, we can care for ourselves based on our current season. We can explore practices that support where we are without overwhelming us and feel more receptive and natural in our bodies.
A sign that we’re exploring practices not in our current season is if you notice you move through the motions of practices, but can’t remain present. You might dissociate during practices or have an underlying sense that you’re exploring too much too soon, or feel overwhelmed.
We all have days where it seems our practices didn’t cause a huge shift, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Every practice matters, whether we notice immediate effects or felt indifferent.
If you’re unsure where to begin, I welcome you to start with safety and grounding and gently move on from there. Even more emotionally invested work begins with safety and grounding, so it’s always a supportive, foundational place to begin.
Honoring your current season when healing sexual trauma
I invite you to be gentle with yourself, as we may strive to be in our bloom state and feel like we’re missing something if we’re in our winter season. But the more we honor our current energy levels, and give ourselves the rest we crave, the more room we make for leaning into a full, embodied, healthy life.
Sometimes, it may seem like we crave too much relaxation, but I welcome to you to honor how much rest your body deserves after weeks, months, or even years of being on guard. You are so deserving of rest.
Ready to discover your healing season?
Our current season, whether that’s emotionally, physically, or energetically, can shift often, especially when healing from trauma. What supports us today may differ from last month or even yesterday. Checking in with our current state is how we discover the practices that will resonate with our nervous systems most.
To support you as you discover this, I created a quick, free quiz that gently guides you toward the season that’s most aligned with where you are now, whether that’s grounding, embodiment, or reconnecting to intimacy and pleasure.
There is no email required for results and you’ll receive unique insights based on your answers. This will support you in giving your nervous system the supportive strategies and practices that promote natural balance. I welcome you to explore the quiz below to get started!
