Experiencing safety within our bodies is the most powerful way to release stored emotions, rebuild self-trust, and ultimately journey through our healing with more confidence, gentleness, and compassion.
For many survivors of sexual trauma, establishing safety and grounding can feel daunting, since we’re being asked to go within our bodies and sensations. If we’re not comfortable feeling within our body, how can we rebuild safety and ground into ourselves?
We’ll explore gentle ways to ground into your body after sexual trauma with holistic and somatic guidance that feels supportive and honors your unique pace and choices.
Creating external safety in your environment is the first step to rebuilding inner safety
In the medical field, we remove people from unsafe environments before providing care. The same is true for our healing journeys, and healing can only truly begin once we are around people and places that signal safety to us.
For some, we may not be in an ideal environment, and this isn’t to pressure you into making drastic life changes. If anything, this allows us to send ourselves more grace, and instead of judging our healing progress, we may better understand why we may still feel highly activated or unsafe.
I welcome you to explore these support options if you feel you’re in an unsafe environment or wish to explore support for sexual trauma.
Once we establish safety in our external environment, we may choose to explore the space around us, or even objects
Instead of immediately tuning into your body during yoga or other somatic practices, it may be supportive to notice the space outside yourself. This is known as your kinesphere, or your personal space bubble.
Many survivors may feel more comfortable noticing this space since it’s energetically a part of you. You might take a moment to notice your personal space, how this energy feels, or how close to your body you feel comfortable exploring. There is never any rush to this type of work.
You could also explore objects, like what you can see in the room around you. Can you connect with any objects? It could be anything, including nature, office objects, or religious items. Does it bring a sense of safety or security? Can you notice qualities like the color, texture, or if it gives off any energy? What you notice or don’t notice is perfect and unique to you.
Exploring things outside of ourselves opens a conversation that we otherwise wouldn’t have. It’s a way to become curious, maybe even noticing how we feel along the way. For many, this is much more supportive compared to noticing our breath or inner sensations.
Other people are also supportive for returning us to a feeling of safety
Do you ever notice how you feel after spending time with someone? Are you drained, neutral, anxious, or calm? People (and even pets) can support co-regulation, which is when others’ safe presence allows us to regulate and feel calm.
You could spend more time with these people or pets, noting if feelings of safety start to arise. If you want to take this a step further, you can recall this feeling in the future even if you’re not with them to cultivate this feeling. This is known as an internal resource, and can be very supportive for soothing yourself when you feel activated.
Once safety is established, grounding soon follows
It might be confusing to know which comes first: grounding or safety, and these two are very similar. Safety is making sure we ourselves are safe in our environment (and a feeling) while grounding is how we return to the present.
These play off one another, since we need to feel safe in order to ground, but grounding can also cultivate feelings of safety. Creating safety in your space is the most important step so you can focus on practices instead of a distracting environment.
There are supportive ways to ground that don’t include going too far into your sensations or breath
Many practices offer grounding with breathwork or noticing your body’s internal feelings. While this may be an option for many, sexual trauma survivors can sometimes feel this is too much too soon.
One way to ground into your space without these techniques is to notice your body’s contact with the ground. You don’t need to focus on your internal sensations, maybe just noticing the outline of your body and how this feels against the surface supporting you. You could also notice the feeling of clothes on your skin, or go back to the feeling of the energy around your body. What would a grounding energy look like around you? Can you bring that feeling into your personal space outside your body? Below is a simpler list to refer to.
3 Grounding Practices That Don’t Involve Breathwork:
- Feel the outline of your body against the ground
- Notice the texture of clothing on your skin
- Imagine a safe, grounding energy around you
Honoring your limits is how you build your nervous system’s capacity (instead of pushing through practices)
We may feel frustrated with how quickly we may feel activated, distracted, or disconnected from our practice, but every moment matters. Many practices may ask you to sit through discomfort or return to the practice, but if you’re going against your body’s wishes, this may be less supportive than healing.
Tuning into our natural limits also gives us the opportunity to speak with our body, which may still feel distant, foreign, or unsafe. When we’ve felt that our boundaries weren’t respected or honored, we may feel unsure how to do this with our own limits. This is entirely okay and is a smart strategy for survival (not a personal fault).
It may not seem like a huge accomplishment to end a practice when you feel you’ve gone too far, but this is monumental in your healing journey. You’re listening to your needs and honoring them. This is embodiment and is much more supportive than pushing through a practice when you don’t want to.
Even a few moments is enough. Many of us at the beginning of our journeys feel completely disconnected from ourselves, and so asking ourselves to do an hour yoga class or twenty-minute meditation may be overwhelming. It’s not that you can’t do these things, or that you’re not strong enough to do them, but deeper healing is more about noticing the quality of your practice, your natural boundaries, and what feels supportive to you.
When we practice honoring our limits, empowerment and embodiment follow
At first, it may feel strange to end a practice early or only do a short couple minutes. But the more you listen to your needs, the more empowered you’ll begin to feel. You may notice you bring this awareness into other areas of your life, like noticing when you’re full, what your capacity is for helping others, or even when you’re tired or beginning to feel stressed.
To explore subtle signs you’re in a dysregulated state before reaching complete overwhelm, I welcome you to read this post.
With time, you’ll being to feel what truly feels like a yes, and what feels like a no. This comes with feeling empowered not only in your practice, but in your life. From here, you can even take your practices further now that you know what feels right, and what doesn’t.
It creates the atmosphere for you to have a unique practice, tailoring each class and exercise to you, allowing for even more embodiment and trusting yourself and your decisions.
You may even feel more comfortable incorporating classes that explore deeper inner sensations, breathwork, or other practices. These types of practices aren’t the goal since some find that breathwork is activating, even if they feel comfortable with more internal awareness practices. You get to decide what your goals are and what healing means for you.
Exploring how to ground into your body after sexual trauma is a journey, and often isn’t an “easy” first step
I offer a gentle reminder that while many practices start with grounding, or label grounding as the easiest first step to healing, it’s okay for it to still feel challenging. You’re not behind or failing; there just aren’t many practices that honor deeper disconnection, especially after sexual trauma.
Many survivors feel this way, and you are not alone. With time, patience, and compassion, you’ll find the practices that work for you and feel nourishing instead of draining.
Begin restoring embodiment, inner safety, and self trust with trauma informed and somatic guidance
These practices are powerful ways to ground and reconnect with your body when you feel disconnected. If you’d like to learn more, I welcome you to explore my 3 day mini course: Soft Grounding.
Over three days, you’ll learn how to regulate your nervous system, deepen your connection to your body, and create an embodied sense of presence and safety. You’ll explore short mini-lessons that give you the most essential information about your nervous system after sexual trauma, along with somatic and grounding exercises to discover your nervous system’s current state, and how to support yourself in each one.
We end with a trauma-informed yoga class that explores everything you learned and allows for full embodiment of the practices. This course isn’t about forcing yourself to feel safe, but about beginning the conversation with your body so you can find genuine safety in a way that feels unique and supportive to you. I welcome you to learn more here!
