30 Fear of Intimacy Affirmations For Healing Sexual Trauma (Plus 5 Additional Healing Strategies)

Healing sexual trauma comes with several challenges, including welcoming intimacy into our lives. When our trust is broken, how can we rediscover effortless, trusting intimacy with those who truly love us?

I welcome you to join me as I explore holistic methods to heal your connection with closeness and thirty fear of intimacy affirmations to reclaim your relationships after trauma. 

How Intimacy Changes After Sexual Trauma

We may feel isolated on our healing journeys, wondering if we’re the only ones with long term affects from our trauma. You’re not alone in your experience, and this qualitative study from the National Library of Medicine explores how survivors often experience these feelings and actions after sexual trauma:

• Loss of interest in sex
• Increase or change in sexual partners
• Engaging in sex work
• Increased sexual behavior
• Becoming celibate or refraining from sex completely
• Sexual dysfunction
• Pain during sex
• Declined sexual satisfaction
• Increased use of substances (drugs and alcohol) during sexual encounters

Many survivors also experience triggers, flashbacks, and other PTSD symptoms when being intimate after sexual trauma, leading to either ending relationships or avoiding connection altogether.

I invite this gentle reminder that everyone reacts to trauma differently and you deserve compassion for your feelings and symptoms. 

It’s normal to feel shame or guilt for how we reacted to our traumas – or didn’t react. If you’d like to explore somatic and holistic exercises for healing shame after sexual trauma and possible reasons for these feelings, I welcome you to read this blog post. 

Healing Intimacy After Sexual Trauma

I understand how frustrating these symptoms can be. At one point in my journey, I told myself that if I never had sex again, then I would be completely fine for the rest of my life. I felt this on a surface level, but under this, I knew I desired genuine connection and intimacy. I truly believe that survivors can still have a healthy, supportive, and loving relationship with intimacy, sex, and safety (if they choose to be in a relationship). 

I also invite you to focus on healing once you’re in a safe environment and relationship. I welcome you to explore these support options, which include domestic violence and sexual trauma crisis lines. 

Supportive And Unsupportive Strategies for Healing Intimacy

There are many supportive resources for healing trauma and this study from the National Library of Medicine interviewed 41 women with a history of sexual trauma and now had healthy, stable, sexual relationships. They discovered five supportive elements to healing intimacy, and six unsupportive. 

Here are five supportive strategies for healing intimacy:

1.Social Support

Supportive friends, family, and support groups who expressed compassion and empathy to the survivor. This also included removing people from their circle who were unsupportive. 

2.Communication

Clearly communicating boundaries with your social groups and partner. 

3.Self-Care

This is dedication to one’s health and wellbeing and the women explored activities including yoga, mindfulness, relaxation techniques and creative outlets like art, music therapy, and journaling.

Related Post: 8 Areas Self-Care For Trauma Survivors

An effective self-care strategy that honors sexual trauma survivors directly is trauma-informed yoga. I invite you to read more about this self-care avenue and research behind its impact on sexual trauma survivors in this blog post. 

4.Formal Therapy

This allows survivors to speak openly about their experiences and feelings with a licensed professional. Therapists offer a wide range of different strategies to alter thoughts, patterns, and beliefs surrounding you and the trauma. 

5.Empowerment

This was defined by survivors as taking ownership and holding onto a sense of control. This was discovered from the previous methods and included self love, taking self-defense classes, and taking charge of their own healing, wellbeing, and forgiveness of themselves. 

Of the above strategies, women found that social support was the most effective strategy long term.

This study also explored six ineffective strategies that worsened symptoms or did not support survivors on their healing journey. 

Here were five unsupportive strategies women discovered when healing intimacy:

1. Casual Sex

The goal of casual sex was for survivors to feel something-anything-after their traumas. The women highlighted that casual sex in itself is not bad, but can be unsupportive when using it as a coping mechanism to avoid or numb previous trauma.

This can also lead to feelings of shame as we live in a society that praises purity and condemns any notion of promiscuity. You are control of your body and have every right to express your healthy sexual self in a way that feels empowering and unique to you. 

2.Unhealthy Communication

Communicating with unsupportive people or over sharing with the wrong people was unsupportive for many survivors. Many felt worse after being victim blamed or not believed – furthering the importance of a supportive inner circle. 

3.Avoidance

This often led to isolation and avoiding relationships. This also included purposely dissociating before sexual encounters to feel safe. 

4.Substance Abuse

When used to numb or escape, survivors mentioned it wasn’t supportive of their long-term healing efforts. 

5.Formal Therapy

While also a supportive strategy, some participants also felt that therapy didn’t help them on their healing journey. This wasn’t because of the therapy in itself, but more so the lack of understanding or training on the topic of sexual trauma healing or supporting sex workers with a compassionate lens. This is why it’s important to find a therapist that fits you and your needs. Not all therapists work for all people. 

6.Self Harm

This included physical self harm like cutting or hurting oneself. Many said this was not a viable long-term strategy that felt healthy. I welcome you to dial 9-8-8 for the suicide hotline or explore these support options if you have thoughts of suicide. You are always worthy of support. 

I invite you to read the full study from the National Library of Medicine here. 

30 Healing Fear Of Intimacy Affirmations 

We’ve covered supportive and unsupportive methods for healing intimacy after sexual trauma, and one way to do this is through mindfulness and relaxation techniques like yoga. 

Many survivors develop limiting beliefs after their traumas (feeling like they’re not worthy of love, something is deeply wrong with them, etc.)

To gently shift our thinking and deepen a mindfulness practice, we can focus on positive affirmations for overcoming fear and reminding ourselves we are worthy of love and healthy, intimate relationships. This doesn’t mean we deny our true feelings and cross into toxic positivity, but to practice honoring how we feel, and seeing if we can gently redirect into a more positive, healthy mindset.

I invite you to explore these 30 trauma-informed affirmations and use the ones that truly speak to you. You can use them as inspiration, as reminders on sticky notes, on your phone, or anywhere else you choose. 

I offer a friendly reminder that intimacy does not always mean sex. It can also mean closeness and trust with your partner and other relationships, including ourselves. When we look at intimacy in this way, we can explore how sex is just one way to show love – not the only way.

30 Healing Intimacy Affirmations

1. I am safe to open my heart 
2. I deserve love
3. Vulnerability is my strength
4. I trust myself
5. I am filled with self compassion
6. I am worthy of healthy relationships
7. I deserve to feel pleasure
8. I embrace difficult moments with grace
9. I am allowed to be seen for who I truly am
10. My body is mine
11. My voice matters
12. My preferences deserve to be heard
13. I am brave enough to trust
14. I am making space for healthy love
15. Every time I choose love, I take my power back
16. I forgive my past mistakes
17. I am allowed to say no
18. My feelings are valid
19. My trust is beautiful
20. I am proud of how far I’ve come
21. My body is worthy of positive touch
22. My pace is perfect
23. I define my unique sexuality
24. There are limitless ways to show intimacy
25. I can be safe and sexual at the same time
26. I am deserving of a supportive partner
27. It is safe to be present
28. I offer myself gentle touch
29. I listen to my body’s unique messages
30. I am allowed to change my mind

Connect To Your Affirmations More Deeply

If you’d like these affirmations to create a more profound impact on your subconscious mind, I welcome you to visualize yourself as you repeat these. Below are a few supportive questions to explore or journal:

• Can you envision what it would be like to truly feel and fully embody each of these affirmations?
• Where do you feel this in your body?
• Do you feel resistance? If so, why do you think that is?
• Can you connect with the parts of you that feel like they’re welcoming these affirmations? Can you imagine a visual to this feeling (glowing light, soft energy, or a certain color.)

These questions invite a more somatic experience to your affirmations and allow you to begin to truly embody your affirmation – making intimacy more accessible when you’re not in practice. 

Overview

Restoring intimacy takes time, and everyone has a unique timeline for progress. I invite you to be gentle with yourself as you explore the resources, affirmations, and exercises that work for you, and which that don’t.

With the right support, you’ll soon be on your way to more intimacy in your life and deeper, more fulfilling relationships. Thank you for reading and take good care!

Ready to begin your journey to deeper connection? 

Community and mindfulness are two effective strategies for restoring intimacy and embodiment after sexual trauma. I invite you to join me in my free library, the Cozy Corner, to explore free trauma-informed yoga classes and receive access to the private community for continued empowerment and support. 

All classes are catered to sexual trauma survivors and you’ll explore a wide variety of yoga classes, somatic exercises, grounding, meditations, and more to restore the connection with yourself. I invite you to join me in the library today!